– How to deal with its Unintended Side Effect
Do you hesitate to seek help from others?
Do you value independent living over depending on others in Life?
Do you cringe at acts that diminish your self worth?
Living Independently is an important trait that we're conditioned to value since our childhood days. However, its a double edged sword, as it'll have its own unintended side effect on our psyche.
We grow up with the conditioning that it’s great to be independent. We get rewarded for proving our independence.
When we give answers to questions in the class it shows off our independent ability to “learn” once Teachers do their job. It puts us in an advantageous position.
Asking doubts in a class usually put us in backfoot, protecting our weaker selves. So, its more of a sign of dumbness rather than being intelligent.
With this conditioning firmly ensconced in our minds, we tend to replicate same behaviours in our career as well. Here’s how it could be so.
When we suggest a solution to a “perceived” problem, we’re “smarter”. Its am altogether different thing whether everyone’s on board w. r. to what the problem actually is.
When we highlight symptoms of a problem or problems we’re facing per se, we first need to at least think twice about how our superiors might perceive it. As this could carry the risk of being stigmatised as a “troublemaker” rather than a “troubleshooter”.
An unintended side effect of this is the awkwardness we feel when we genuinely need help from our superiors. As the cost of seeking help outweighs the need of getting help, we tend to figure out other ways of getting it, without compromising our self-image.
This might gradually turn out to be a game of survival rather than thriving in the working culture, subject to the extent we’re allowed to have the freedom.
Forging “interdependent” relationships which facilitate give and take we all need. So, what could be the key to making this happen?